Religion- Coping with all the scary bits.

For many of us, at some point in our lives, religion can become pretty scary.

This may be as a response to childhood when that set of beliefs very appropriate to someone else's condition, doesn't seem quite so relevant to your own. At times being caught up in a particular life situation can be a very alienating experience when the rules and expectations with a religion no longer seem to apply.

I remember one morning spent gazing sadly at a portion of butter beans on my plate. They refused to disappear and so I was totally stuck.With the best of intentions my mother had said that butter beans are very good for you, and that there were lots of children in Africa who would be very glad of them. I could see no evidence of very hungry children in our dining room at the time. Instead of being won over but all that healthy propaganda, it seemed far more relevant to me that butter beans have a nasty coating that flakes off like dried skin in your mouth and anyway taste disgusting.

There was also that unlikely story about white cabbage. It may seem soggy, anaemic quite lifeless and insidiously covered in salt, but for some inexplicable reason, apparently makes your hair curl. Since my hair was already curly and still has an unfortunate tendency to curl off in all directions, white cabbage did not seem particularly relevant to my condition. It seemed from an early age that not all things we are presented with in life are going to be to our taste, although, in the search for miracles, and God moving in a mysterious way, perhaps we should begin with cabbage!

In marked contrast to these more painful memories of childhood, there were times when a particular type of food was impossible to resist. Throughout history, people have associated hunger with the search for God. To illustrate this point, I can recall sitting on the back seat of our car with a hot crusty loaf in my hands. There was a nice soft accessible bit at the side and a lot you can do with a loaf of bread during the journey home. For some reason that loaf of bread was quite hollow when my mother cut into it at lunch! I was in quite a lot of trouble at the time although did discover that picking away at something can indeed stop you feeling hungry.

 At times religion isn't at all like what it says on the packet. It is incredibly off-putting, besides very hurtful for those who genuinely adhere to a particular faith, when quite terrible things are done in the name of religion. For this reason, it would seem of particular importance that we are honest, noting that in its many forms, blasphemy (including acts of violence) is a misrepresentation of religion and not a part of it.


At times it is possible to get an allergic reaction from food. Even if this is slight, gradual and you are the only person on the planet who reacts in this particular way, it matters. With religion too, it is necessary to be honest about the problems we encounter even though they may not seem particularly relevant or logical to others. It helps not to over-react, believing that all food should now be treated with suspicion or lose sight of the main objective. With any serious adventure, there will be times when it is necessary to show bravery and work around the problem.

Some of the things people believe seem very improbable, irrelevant or strange. There may be a temptation to provide a critical appraisal of everyone else's religion as an alternative to thinking seriously about your own. To judge is often a distraction, and, since we will never have all the evidence of another person's perspective, most unlikely to be very accurate or true.
I do not believe it is ever possible to be entirely right with religion or that we should be held responsible for what we believe. Instead the focus needs to shift away from knowledge. It is the kind of people are prepared to become as a result of our belief that matters.

While writing about my childhood, I was reminded of my grand-daughter who went shopping one day with her own toy supermarket trolley and an illustrated list of things she was supposed to buy. If anyone had asked her, I am sure the thought of chocolate was most in her mind, although a three year old might also realise that other less inspiring items on her list were also there for a reason.

Although it is undoubtedly true that religion contains scary bits, I think my grand-daughter would still tell me that it is fun to go shopping. The trolley is only little, so among Quakers we have no creeds. Some bits (even butter beans and cabbage!) may be right for someone else. Among Quakers, no one is going to proscribe the items on your list. With religion, it is only necessary to take on board the things that you need.

So let's not be afraid of all the scary bits. It's a fantastic opportunity to be invested with the power and responsibility to take control of that journey.  Live adventurously, be a "Seeker after Truth" and with respect for all our fellow travellers, go shopping!!