Although it may seem we are not very like Basil Fawlty and cannot imagine ever owning a guest house, most of us would identify with having a home and visitors who come to see you.
The ones I am thinking of this morning do not come announced, They do not make an appointment or ring the shiny brass bell on the front desk to let you know they are here. They do not write their names in the visitors book, but intead put down promises about being there to make you happy, fulfilled, successful, appreciated and so with no further questions, it is quite understandable that we have a tendency to let them in to stay.
Such guests can be everything they promised. There was that surprise birthday party, unexpected presents, winning the charity raffle, a Valentines Card right out of the blue, and a job interview which went really well. Its a lovely feeling to be happy.
Gradually however, such guests have a tendency to become more demanding. At times they will over-eat, take their fun with little regard for the neighbours or other people's guests, create so much dirty washing, use chocolate, alcohol, pills, to achieve the same results. It feels a little unsafe, even dishonest, but who isn't afraid of the alternative to what your guests provide?
That discovery one morning that your guests had repainted the living room a bright sunny yellow was a bit awkward. Even in your dreams it seemed you might be losing control, relying too much upon feelings.
There was now a funny smell about the place. Although difficult to raise the subject directly, it seemed that some treasured possessions, besides those you had just become accustomed to, didn't quite fit in.
Next day it was all very dark because someone had stitched together the curtains. As you stumbled about the house, everything seemed that bit harder to do. Nobody came round to visit because everyone thought you were out. Through lack of practice, it was impossible to remember how curtains are supposed to move, although your guests said it would be quite ok to blame everyone else in the neighbourhood, even the wider world if this would help you to feel better, as it is a horrible feeling being all alone and no body came to help you.
The problem with intrusive guests is that they seem to have an answer for everything. This works for a while but then you are either stuck with the same problem, or else have something else to deal with. There's that promise of happiness and all life's other rewards written so convincingly in the visitors book. It begins well but now there are all these other guests who you don't like nearly as much even though they say that they're related. Somehow they have slipped in between, signed in with false promises or said quite rudely that they are realistic expectations. Instead of being in your own home environment, all these very different emotional responses have set up a roller coaster ride in your living space.
Escaping from a destructive and misleading environment will require carefully planning. It takes time- a whole life time of practice, but best to break the challenge down into individual moments.
An act of worship provides an opportunity to quietly slip away from the rest of life and think. Through silence it becomes possible to recognise those emotional dependencies which so easily get in the way. Gradually we re-discover who we really are by seeing our lives in context. Guests with all their promises need to be told very firmly that within any home there are rules. In future there will be a little sign right next to the bell telling any potential guests about the owner of this house. It says that what we want is not all that there is and that "We are Quakers"
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